The Patient

Another Bette Story

When the phone rang, Norm was on his way out of his apartment. As soon as he saw that it was Bette calling, he asked, “What’s up Bette?”

“Hal” was all she said.

Norm knew all about Hal. He was Bette’s least favorite patient. Hal wasn’t his real name, but a pseudonym Bette gave him so she could discuss him in general terms with Norm. She had been treating him for a potpourri of mental issues. Among them, bipolar disorder. Hal imagined the popular TV series “Mr. Robot” portrayed his own life and the screen writer modeled the series’ lead character Elliot Alderson after him. Bette had watched part of the series to compare Hal’s psychosis to the character’s and determined that Elliot suffered from dissociative identity disorder (DID) but Hal didn’t. When she told Norm that Hal imagined he was like Elliot, the penultimate hacker, Norm reacted with a facetious snort. “He’s a hacker in his own mind, but I doubt if he’s on anyone’s radar,” he added.

“What did he do this time,” Norm asked.

“He says he has hacked into my servers and can see everything I do once I log into either my office or home laptop. Moreover, he claims he can hear and see everything I do in either location.”

“Did he mention your bedroom?” Norm asked.

“No, but he suggested he could if he wanted to.”

“Right. As I told you before, the kid’s a wack job and belongs in the nervous hospital. Look, I installed your office and home servers, each with its own ID, VPN, firewall, etc., not to mention that I also hardened both your laptops with individual passwords that even you don’t know, but which you activate with a fingerprint. In short, I doubt very much he could crack and hack into either of your servers and certainly not both.” Norm assured her. Unless he was able to break into your office and condo when you weren’t there, how could he plant bugs or camera devices?

“Well, he mentioned a few things, which sounded convincing to me,” Bette said. “By the way, when did you become a certified a psychotherapist?” she added, laughing.

“Do you need to be a shrink to recognize a wack job when you see one? Maybe he hacked your head and crawled inside and is playing you with his imagination? You tell me, you’re the shrink.”

“Are you telling me you have to be a wacko to know one? Bette asked, laughing again. But you’re right about his imagination. I have a difficult time keeping him focused on the here and now. Each time I try to address a specific issue with him, he deflects to Mr. Robot, Elliot, and his latest ‘earth-shattering hack.’” she added.

“Can’t you suggest you’ve done all you can do to help him and that he should see another shrink for a second opinion or get the kid committed? Meanwhile, I can visit a friend and borrow a couple of his gizmos to sweep your office and your condo.”

“Norm, I just can’t dump the kid because I don’t like him, That’s be unprofessional. How long would it take to check out the office and my place?”

“As long as it takes...but I’d also check the wiring of your light switches, plugs, and other devices at both locations.”

“Do you think it’s necessary?” Bette asked.

“Do you?” Norm replied.

“I’d feel better if you checked things out...just to be sure, of course.”

Norm had spent most of his adult life working on computers, peripherals, and networks, initially as a programmer and later as an IT specialist and troubleshooter. The next day, Norm checked Bette’s condo while she was at her office and then her office after she went home. Later that evening, Norm arrived at Bette’s place to tell her that she didn’t need to worry about Hal’s hacking claim. “I found nada. Nothing on your servers, laptops, or wiring. All’s clean as the proverbial whistle. Christ, even I couldn’t hack into your stuff with the usual methods,” he assured her.

Bette hugged him, whispering seductively into Norm’s ear, “How could I ever thank you?” she asked with wink.

“You gotta ask?” he answered, feigning shock.

“Just wanted to confirm we’re on the same page, Norm,” she said and she led him into her bedroom.