Seeking Equilibrium

Ruminations Amid Chaos

Ever since a man from New York announced in 2015 his candidacy to run for president of the United States. A tremor emerged which has gripped the nation and the world ever since. The discord and resulting chaos from this man, his billionaire enablers, and minions have monopolized headlines and social media ever since. Many of us feel as if we’re on a merry-go-round which doesn’t stop and from which we can’t get off. The chaos and the stress it spawns creates stress that seems insurmountable. What to do?

Like many Substack participants, I’ve found solace in physical activity such as long walks and communing with nature, reading, photography, writing poems and stories, but even these activities didn’t suffice to provide me the inner peace I sought.

After seeing ads in a local free paper to learn Taichi and Qicong, I thought about when I began to train in martial arts many years ago, and how those I trained with joked that one day we’d become old, too old for the hits and falls, and have little choice but to train in what one wag called “tight cheeks” and “cheeky cong.” And that’s what I’ve done. If nothing else, both disciplines have taught me how to breathe properly and improve my physical flexibility and balance.

Unsplash photo by Mark Hang Fung So

At the same time, practicing these two arts led me to investigate Taoism, which literally has taken me on a new path as I approach my 79th year.

For me, Taoism has opened up a new Weltanschauung, or world view, by examining the ancient Chinese thinkers, writers, and poets who wrote more than two millennia ago. So far, I’ve read Dao De Jing by the legendary Laozi or Lao Tzu, as he is also known. I’ve also begun reading the writing of Zhuangzi or Chuang Tzu, in his book Zhuangzi, which is named after him. Confucius, or Kongzi (Master Kong), is also a prominent figure in Zhuangzi, and his teachings also have influenced Taoism, which has led me to his Analects, a work I haven’t read yet, but which I’ve added to my ever-growing to read list. Another early influence on Taoism is Buddhism, which isn’t a surprise, given its influence in southern and eastern Asia also for millennia. The connections between these different influences, remind of what a Korean acquaintance often said, “More study, more same.” To which another might respond, “Yes, but not exactly the same.”

Most important, Taoism has provided me with a mirror in which I can look deeper into myself than ever before. There’s a passage in Hermann Hesse’s novel, Siddhartha, in which Siddhartha thinks to himself: “Und über kein Ding in der Welt weiß ich weniger als über mich….(And there’s not a single thing in the world I know less than about myself.”) This where I’ve been for far too long. Like Siddhartha in the novel, I was afraid to look at my darker, flawed side, which is still part of who and what I am — another part of the whole me.

Studying Taoism and reflecting on it through meditation allows me to view the world around me in a more open-minded way, or in a Taoist way, in which there’s no joy without sadness or no sadness without joy, and no life without death and no death without life. It’s a reconciliation of opposites in which everything is connected through opposite parts as part of the whole. As contradictory as it might sound, there’s an unmistakable logic to it. So far, as I attempt to apply what I’ve read so far to how I live, I feel very much like an infant taking baby steps and stumbling as I embark on the dao, the way.

For those of you who are interested, there are several excellent Taoist Substacks. Perhaps a good place to begin is at Dao World or Asia Society. A favorite of mine is Ink & Space by Yuxuan Francis Liu, but there are others that provide good overviews of Taoism and related information and links.